IFS Techniques for Infidelity
Guiding Clients through Disclosure, Empathy, and Grief to Co-Create a New Relationship
- Speaker:
- Wayne Baker, LPC
- Duration:
- 1 Hour 03 Minutes
- Format:
- Audio and Video
- Copyright:
-
Feb 19, 2026
- Product Code:
- POS150602
- Media Type:
- Digital Seminar
Description
The discovery of betrayal leaves couples trapped, stuck with feelings of rage, shame and grief that block the process of healing …
And standard approaches often overlook the depth of trauma and inner complexity of each partner’s response.
That’s why sought after speaker and course developer Wayne Baker, LPC, used his over two decades of experience with infidelity recovery and betrayal trauma to develop this powerful workshop. Using an IFS approach grounded in the five pillars of healing, Wayne focuses on the three areas where most couples encounter difficulties on their healing journey: disclosure, empathy, and grief – and where you can have the most impact!
You’ll walk away with:
- Strateiges for guiding disclosure without re-traumatization
- Tools to cultivate self-led empathy and compassion
- Ways to support authentic grieving of client’s losses
- Case vignettes and more!
This is your chance to get tools that will help your clients move beyond devastation toward repair and new possibilities!
This event is not endorsed by, sponsored by, or affiliated with the IFS Institute and does not qualify for IFS Institute credits or certification.
Credit
Handouts/Brochure
| File type | File name | Number of pages | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Manual - IFS Techniques for Infidelity (1.5 MB) | 23 Pages | Available after Purchase | |
| Transcript - IFS Techniques for Infidelity (91 KB) | 14 Pages | Available after Purchase | |
| Manual - IFS Techniques for Infidelity - French (1.5 MB) | 23 Pages | Available after Purchase | |
| Transcript - IFS Techniques for Infidelity - French (91 KB) | 14 Pages | Available after Purchase | |
| Manual - IFS Techniques for Infidelity - Italian (1.5 MB) | 23 Pages | Available after Purchase | |
| Transcript - IFS Techniques for Infidelity - Italian (91 KB) | 14 Pages | Available after Purchase | |
| Manual - IFS Techniques for Infidelity - German (1.5 MB) | 23 Pages | Available after Purchase | |
| Transcript - IFS Techniques for Infidelity - German (91 KB) | 14 Pages | Available after Purchase | |
| Manual - IFS Techniques for Infidelity - Spanish (1.5 MB) | 23 Pages | Available after Purchase | |
| Transcript - IFS Techniques for Infidelity - Spanish (91 KB) | 14 Pages | Available after Purchase |
Speaker
Wayne Baker, LPC Related seminars and products
Wayne Baker, LPC, is a psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience specializing in infidelity recovery and betrayal trauma. He integrates Internal Family Systems, and trauma-informed care to help both betrayed and unfaithful partners heal, restore relational safety, and create authentic connections. Wayne is a sought-after speaker and course developer known for blending clinical expertise with compassion and clarity. His work emphasizes the five pillars of betrayal trauma recovery – Disclosure, Empathy, Grieving, Forgiveness, and Co-creation – and he is committed to training clinicians in IFS-informed approaches to relational healing.
Financial: Wayne Baker maintains a private practice. He receives a speaking honorarium and recording royalties from PESI, Inc. He has no relevant financial relationships with ineligible organizations.
Non-financial: Wayne Baker is a member of the EMDR International Association, American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, and American Psychological Association.
Additional Info
Access for Self-Study (Non-Interactive)Access never expires for this product.
For a more detailed outline that includes times or durations of time, if needed, please contact cepesi@pesi.com.
Questions?
Visit our FAQ page at www.pesi.com/faq or contact us at www.pesi.com/info
Please Note
This product is not endorsed by, sponsored by, or affiliated with the IFS Institute and does not qualify for IFS Institute credits or certification.
Objectives
- Identify the five pillars of betrayal trauma recovery.
- Choose IFS therapy interventions to support safe, paced disclosure and reduce re-traumatization in therapy sessions.
- Utilize strategies for nurturing Self-led empathy and compassion between partners as a bridge across the rupture of betrayal.
Outline
Introduction
- Infidelity is one of the most destabilizing experiences couples bring to therapy
- Why IFS therapy is uniquely suited: it honors multiplicity, heals shame, and creates space for Self-to-Self connection
- Recovery involves not only stopping the behavior and surviving but also thriving, regardless of whether the relationship continues
- Creates conditions for healing and authentic choice
The Landscape of Infidelity
- Clinical presentations: anger, hypervigilance, intrusive imagery, shame, minimization
- The Language of Infidelity
- Terms: cheater, betrayed, wayward, unfaithful, hurt, involved partner, narcissist; implicit judgments, identity traps
- Clinical best practice: name behaviors, not identities
- What terms does the couple prefer
- Cultural & heteronormative assumptions
- Early research assumes heterosexual monogamy
- Infidelity in LGBTQ+ couples and poly structures: betrayal = secrecy/violation of agreements more than sex
- Takeaway: words matter - they can entrench shame and rage, or they can create repair openings
The 5 Pillars of Betrayal Trauma Recovery
- Pillar 1: Disclosure/Discovery
- The shock of discovery and the importance of pacing disclosure
- An unfaithful partner understands and presents a full picture
- Parts most often activated: shock, rage, shame
- IFS therapy helps unblend from protectors, support compassionate witnessing of exiles, and create Self-led communication in disclosure sessions
- Pillar 2: Empathy & Compassion
- Both are necessary and very different
- Empathy as the bridge between protectors and exiles
- Compassion from the unfaithful partner often determines the trajectory of healing
- Self-to-Self interactions; moving from “parts at war” to “Self-led witnessing”
- Therapist role: regulate, slow down, model compassion, and prevent premature forgiveness scripts
- Pillar 3: Grieving
- Grieving both what was lost (trust, innocence, identity) and what was never present
- The betrayed partner: often blocked from grieving by anger protectors
- The unfaithful partner: grief around their own behavior, shame, fear, lost connection
- IFS therapy interventions: accessing exiles, facilitating unburdening rituals, and supporting mourning in Self-energy
- Pillar 4: Forgiveness
- Reframed as releasing burdens, not excusing behavior
- Timing matters, it cannot be rushed
- Pillar 5: Co-Creation of a New Relationship
- Not about going “back” but about building something new, Self-led, and more authentic
Clinical Applications & Interventions
- Case vignette (Maria & David) for a deep dive into disclosure and empathy
- Short examples (gay couple, lesbian couple, poly agreement) to show cultural breadth
- Key tools therapists can use
- Mapping protectors/exiles for both partners
- Slowing disclosure to prevent retraumatization
- Naming the impact of language in session
- Facilitating Self-led grief work
Integration & Clinical Takeaways
- Recovery requires safe disclosure, Self-led empathy, and space for grief
- Language is a clinical intervention
- The therapist’s Self-energy regulates the room
- The five pillars serve as a flexible, not liner, roadmap
Q&A
- Space for attendees to reflect on their own language use, struggles in disclosure sessions, and practical integration of IFS therapy
Target Audience
- Counselors
- Social Workers
- Psychologists
- Psychiatrists
- Addiction Counselors
- Nurses
- Marriage and Family Therapists
- Other Mental Health Professionals
Reviews
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