How You’re Fueling Your Own Anxiety And How to Fix It
In the past several months I have asked my clients to close their eyes and notice how it feels when I say these three words: relax, relaxing, relaxed. Then I repeat those same words in reverse order and ask which word felt the best. Without fail, they chose either “relaxing” or “relaxed.”
...Why?
Words and phrases like “relax,” “chill out” and “calm down” are commands, which only create more tension. Letting go of anxiety is a process, so using process words and phrases are more effective in reducing anxious thoughts.
So next time you are feeling stressed, try saying or thinking phrases like “letting go” or “releasing.” Using states of being, like “peaceful” or “loose” can be helpful too.
I find it can be helpful to keep a visual reminder of process words where I can see it throughout the day. Give it a try by downloading this PDF sample visual reminder card from my new Melt Worry & Relax Card Deck.
Using process words is only one way of addressing the fact that fighting anxiety fuels it. Get 56 useful and effective anti-anxiety strategies and solutions for letting go of worry and anxiety in my Melt Worry & Relax Card Deck.
Download a Free Process Words Reminder Card
Dr. Jennifer L. Abel specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders and is a worry management expert. A respected clinician and author whose clinical practice is located in St. Louis, MO, Abel is an international speaker who trains other professionals to treat generalized anxiety disorder (the worry disorder) and other anxiety disorders. Dr. Abel’s books Active Relaxation and Resistant Anxiety, Worry & Panic receive high praise from experts in the field and readers alike.
Jennifer L. Abel, PhD, international speaker, author and clinical psychologist, has specialized in the treatment of anxiety disorders for over 20 years. Before opening a private practice, she served as the associate director of the Stress and Anxiety Disorders Institute at Penn State under the direction of the leading expert in Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), T.D. Borkovec.
Her first book, Active Relaxation (Self-Published, 2010), has received outstanding reviews from mental health care professionals and anxious readers alike. Her second book, Resistant Anxiety, Worry, and Panic: 86 Practical Treatment Strategies for Clinicians (PESI, 2014), has received praise from top experts in anxiety management. Jennifer is also the author of The Anxiety, Worry & Depression Workbook: 65 Exercises, Worksheets & Tips to Improve Mood and Feel Better (PESI, 2018) and the Melt Worry and Relax Card Deck: 56 CBT & Mindfulness Strategies to Release Anxiety (PESI, 2016).
Dr. Abel has published many articles in professional journals and wrote a pamphlet about GAD for ABCT. She has been quoted by several popular magazines (e.g., Health, Prevention, Glamour) for her expertise in Worry. Dr. Abel presents to the public (e.g., Working Women’s Survival Show), as well as professionals (e.g., Australian Psychological Society; Anxiety Disorder Association of America).
Speaker Disclosures:
Financial: Jennifer Abel is in private practice. She receives royalties as a published author. Jennifer Abel receives a speaking honorarium and recording royalties from PESI, Inc. She has no relevant financial relationships with ineligible organizations.
Non-financial: Jennifer Abel has no relevant non-financial relationships.
