“A compassionate road map and survival guide for people in narcissistic relationships...” —Jay Shetty, New York Times bestselling author of Think Like a Monk and host of the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast
From clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism
It’s not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissistic person. One day they draw you in with their charm and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-esteem, and leave you wondering, What should I have done differently? As Dr. Ramani explains in It’s Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing.
Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist will not stop manipulating and invalidating you, no matter how much you try to appease them. The first step toward healing from their toxic influence—and to protect yourself from future harm—is to accept that you are not to blame for their behavior.
Drawing on more than two decades of studying the landscape of narcissism and working with survivors, Dr. Ramani explores how narcissists hijack our well-being and offers a healing path forward. Unpacking the oft-misunderstood personality, she reveals the telltale behavioral patterns that indicate you may be dealing with a narcissist. Along the way, you’ll learn how to become gaslight resistant, chip away at the trauma bonds that keep you stuck in the cycle, grieve the loss of these painful relationships, create and maintain realistic boundaries, discern unhelpful behaviors from narcissistic behaviors, and recover your sense of self after constant invalidation.
Thriving after, or even during, a narcissistic relationship can be challenging, but It’s Not You shows you it is possible. Dr. Ramani invites you to stop blaming yourself and trying to change the narcissistic person, and to start giving yourself permission to let go of their hold on you and finally embrace your true self.
Ramani Durvasula, PhD is a psychologist in California, the founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training and Consulting, and professor emerita of psychology at California State University Los Angeles. She is The New York Times bestselling author of It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People. She is also the author of multiple other books including ”Don’t You Know Who I Am”: How to Stay Sane in the Era of Narcissism, Entitlement and Incivility and Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist. She has lectured and trained therapists around the world on best practices on working with clients experiencing narcissistic abuse and has developed a 36 hour virtual training and certification program in conjunction with PESI to train clinicians on how to use an antagonism-informed approach with clients experiencing narcissistic relationships.
Dr. Durvasula hosts a popular YouTube channel with over 2 million subscribers, maintains a program offering support and education to thousands of survivors, and is a featured expert on the digital media platform MedCircle. She also maintains an engaged online network called the Dr. Ramani Network. She has also been widely involved in the governance of the American Psychological Association, including the APA Leadership Institute for Women in Psychology and the APA Minority Fellowship Program. Dr. Durvasula received her MA and PhD degrees in clinical psychology from UCLA and completed her internship and post-doctoral training at the UCLA Department of Psychiatry. She completed her Bachelor of Science degree in psychology, with a minor in sociology in 1988 at the University of Connecticut. She resides in Los Angeles, CA.
Speaker Disclosures:
Financial: Ramani Durvasula is the founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training, and Consulting and has an employment relationship with the University of Johannesburg. Ramani Durvasula receives royalties as a published author. She receives a speaking honorarium and recording royalties from Psychotherapy Networker and PESI, Inc. She has no relevant financial relationships with ineligible organizations.
Non-financial: Ramani Durvasula is an associate editor for Behavioral Medicine. She is a member of the American Psychological Association, the Association for Psychological Science Society for Behavioral Medicine, and the International Association of Applied Psychology.
Satisfaction Guarantee
Your satisfaction is our goal and our guarantee. Concerns should be addressed to: PO Box 1000, Eau Claire, WI 54702-1000 or call 1-800-844-8260.
ADA Needs
We would be happy to accommodate your ADA needs; please call our Customer Service Department for more information at 1-800-844-8260.
PESI Mobile App
Access CE trainings on your phone or tablet through our free mobile app. Choose video or audio-only versions of online courses from the world’s best instructors, and complete your CE requirements anywhere, anytime, at your own pace.
Please wait ...
