It’s time to take our lives back from a world of narcissism, entitlement, and toxic relationships.
“Don’t You Know Who I Am?” has become the mantra of the famous and infamous, the entitled and the insecure. It’s the tagline of the modern narcissist.
Health and wellness campaigns preach avoidance of unhealthy foods, sedentary lifestyles, tobacco, drugs, and alcohol, but rarely preach avoidance of unhealthy, difficult or toxic people. Yet the health benefits of removing toxic people from your life may have far greater benefits to both physical and psychological health. We need to learn to be better gatekeepers for our minds, bodies, and souls.
Narcissism, entitlement, and incivility have become the new world order, and we are all in trouble. They are not only normalized but also increasingly incentivized. They are manifestations of pathological insecurity—insecurities that are experienced at both the individual and societal level. The paradox is that we value these patterns. We venerate them through social media, mainstream media, and consumerism, and they are endemic in political, corporate, academic, and media leaders.
There are few lives untouched by narcissists. These relationships infect those who are in them with self-doubt, despair, confusion, anxiety, depression, and the chronic feeling of being “not enough,” all of which make it so difficult to step away and set boundaries. The illusion of hope and the fantasy of redemption can result in years of second chances, and despondency when change never comes.
It’s time for a wake-up call. It’s time to stem the tide of narcissism, entitlement, and antagonism, and take our lives back.
Ramani Durvasula, PhD is a psychologist in California, the founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training and Consulting, and professor emerita of psychology at California State University Los Angeles. She is The New York Times bestselling author of It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People. She is also the author of multiple other books including ”Don’t You Know Who I Am”: How to Stay Sane in the Era of Narcissism, Entitlement and Incivility and Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist. She has lectured and trained therapists around the world on best practices on working with clients experiencing narcissistic abuse and has developed a 36 hour virtual training and certification program in conjunction with PESI to train clinicians on how to use an antagonism-informed approach with clients experiencing narcissistic relationships.
Dr. Durvasula hosts a popular YouTube channel with over 2 million subscribers, maintains a program offering support and education to thousands of survivors, and is a featured expert on the digital media platform MedCircle. She also maintains an engaged online network called the Dr. Ramani Network. She has also been widely involved in the governance of the American Psychological Association, including the APA Leadership Institute for Women in Psychology and the APA Minority Fellowship Program. Dr. Durvasula received her MA and PhD degrees in clinical psychology from UCLA and completed her internship and post-doctoral training at the UCLA Department of Psychiatry. She completed her Bachelor of Science degree in psychology, with a minor in sociology in 1988 at the University of Connecticut. She resides in Los Angeles, CA.
Speaker Disclosures:
Financial: Ramani Durvasula is the founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training, and Consulting and has an employment relationship with the University of Johannesburg. Ramani Durvasula receives royalties as a published author. She receives a speaking honorarium and recording royalties from Psychotherapy Networker and PESI, Inc. She has no relevant financial relationships with ineligible organizations.
Non-financial: Ramani Durvasula is an associate editor for Behavioral Medicine. She is a member of the American Psychological Association, the Association for Psychological Science Society for Behavioral Medicine, and the International Association of Applied Psychology.
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