Everyone has their own concept of what “monogamy” means―and most people assume their partners and spouses are on the same page. Couples may assume that they are monogamous, but never discuss exactly what the monogamy agreement means to them. What happens when this implicit agreement is broken? After infidelity, relationships can become strained as both partners lose trust and faith in each other. The New Monogamy offers a way out of these difficulties for couples struggling to stay together after infidelity. Couples make these implicit assumptions and agreements explicit so that each partner knows exactly what is expected of them in the future and what they can expect from their partner.
Author Tammy Nelson helps couples regain trust, romance, and intimacy after infidelity by redefining the monogamy contract. The new monogamy contract is an explicit relationship agreement created after the affair that allows each partner to openly, honestly, and safely share their desires, expectations, and limitations. This agreement does not create an open marriage, but rather, an open conversation wherein each partner can have a say in setting the ground rules for their relationship. The book first helps couples rebuild trust after the affair, then engages in a series of Imago dialogues based on questions about what each partner really wants in the relationship, not what you think you should want or what a partner wants you to want. The New Monogamy includes questionnaires, checklists, and candid questions for partners to ask that help welcome complete honesty and trust back into the relationship. Then, the book helps couples make an erotic recovery from infidelity by addressing erotic problems that may surface and offers advice for helping couples return to desiring and trusting one another. After an affair, it’s impossible to go back to the way the relationship was before, but this book offers the chance for a new beginning.
Tammy Nelson, PhD, is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice, a relationship and international speaker, an author, a faculty member and teacher with a Doctorate in Philosophy in Clinical Sexology. She is a board-certified sexologist, a diplomate of the American Board of Sexologists, a licensed professional counselor, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, a registered art therapist, a licensed alcohol and drug counselor, a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist and an Advanced Imago Clinician as well as an ISTI Certified Sex and Couples Therapist.
Dr. Tammy is the author of six books, including Open Monogamy: A Guide to Co-Creating Your Ideal Relationship Agreement (2021), Integrative Sex & Couples Therapy: A Therapist’s Guide to New and Innovative Approaches (2020), When You’re the One Who Cheats: Ten Things You Need to Know (2019), The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity (2013), Getting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together (2008), and What’s Eating You? A Workbook for Anorexia and Bulimia (2004). She is also the creator of Date Night Card Deck (2023), a TEDx speaker, host of the podcast The Trouble with Sex, and founder and executive director of the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute.
Speaker Disclosures:
Financial: Dr. Tammy Nelson maintains a private practice and is executive director and primary faculty at Integrated Sex Therapy Training Institute (ISTI) and has employment relationships with Daybreak University and the California Institute of Integral Studies. She receives a speaking honorarium and recording, and book royalties from PESI, Inc., and she additionally receives royalties from New Harbinger and Sounds True. She is a paid consultant for Evergreen Certifications. Dr. Nelson has no relevant financial relationships with ineligible organizations.
Non-financial: Dr. Tammy Nelson serves on the board of advisors for the World Association of Sex Coaches. She is a member of the American Art Therapy Association, American Association of Sex Educators, Sex Counselors, and Sex Therapists (AASECT), American Comprehensive Energy Psychology Association (ACEP), American Counseling Association, American Family Therapy Academy, American Family Therapy Association (AFTA), American Psychological Association (APA), Connecticut Counselors, Imago Relationships International Association of Professional and Certified Therapists, International Board of Sexologists, International Institute for Sexuality and Human Development, Nonfiction Authors Association, Society Scientific Study Sexuality (SSSS), and the Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR).
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