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Book

The Power of Showing Up

How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired

Author:
Daniel J. Siegel, MD |  Tina Payne Bryson, PhD
Copyright:
2020
Publication Date:
Jan 07, 2020
Product Code:
SAM086260
ISBN13:
9781524797713
Format:
Hardcover
Number of Pages:
256
Media Type:
Book


Description

What’s the one thing a parent can do to make the most difference in the long run? The research is clear: Show up! Now the bestselling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood.

One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out—in terms of happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships—is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them. In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as bestselling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn’t take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it’s simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child’s healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S’s:
 

  • Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change.

  • Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions—both positive and negative—and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind beneath his behavior.
  • What’s the one thing a parent can do to make the most difference in the long run? The research is clear: Show up! Now the bestselling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood.

    One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out—in terms of happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships—is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them. In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as bestselling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn’t take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it’s simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child’s healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S’s:
     
    • Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change.

    • Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions—both positive and negative—and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind beneath his behavior.

    • Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone.

    • Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up—when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive!

    Based on the latest brain and attachment research, The Power of Showing Up shares stories, scripts, simple strategies, illustrations, and tips for honoring the Four S’s effectively in all kinds of situations—when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don’t show up for them. Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it’s never too late to mend broken trust, this book is a powerful guide to cultivating your child’s healthy emotional landscape.

  • Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone.

  • Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up—when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive!


Based on the latest brain and attachment research, The Power of Showing Up shares stories, scripts, simple strategies, illustrations, and tips for honoring the Four S’s effectively in all kinds of situations—when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don’t show up for them. Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it’s never too late to mend broken trust, this book is a powerful guide to cultivating your child’s healthy emotional landscape.

Credit



Author

Daniel J. Siegel, MD's Profile

Daniel J. Siegel, MD Related seminars and products

Mindsight Institute


Daniel J. Siegel, MD, is a graduate of Harvard Medical School and completed his postgraduate medical education at UCLA with training in pediatrics and child, adolescent, and adult psychiatry. He is currently a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, founding co-director of UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center, founding co-investigator at the UCLA Center for Culture, Brain and Development, and executive director of the Mindsight Institute, an educational center devoted to promoting insight, compassion, and empathy in individuals, families, institutions, and communities.

Dr. Siegel's psychotherapy practice spans thirty years, and he has published extensively for the professional audience. He serves as the Founding Editor for the Norton Professional Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology which includes over 70 textbooks. Dr. Siegel's books include his five New York Times bestsellers: Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence; Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain, Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human, and two books with Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D, The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline. His other books include:The Power of Showing Up also with Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., The Developing Mind, The Pocket Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology, Mindsight, The Mindful Brain, The Mindful Therapist, Parenting from the Inside Out (with Mary Hartzell, M.Ed.), and The Yes Brain (also with Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D). He has been invited to lecture for the King of Thailand, Pope John Paul II, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Google University, and TEDx.


Speaker Disclosures:
Financial: Dr. Daniel Siegel is the clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine, the medical director of Lifespan Learning Institute, the executive director of Center for Human Development and Mindsight Institute, and the founding editor of Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology. He receives royalties as a published author. Dr. Daniel Siegel receives a speaking honorarium, recording royalties, and book royalties from PESI, Inc. He has no relevant financial relationships with ineligible organizations.
Non-financial: Dr. Daniel Siegel serves on the advisory board for Gloo and Convergence in Washington, D.C.


Tina Payne Bryson, PhD's Profile

Tina Payne Bryson, PhD Related seminars and products

Parenting consultant and psychotherapist

Private Practice


Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., is the co-author (with Dan Siegel) of two New York Times bestsellers, The Whole-Brain Child (Bantam, 2012) and No-Drama Discipline (Bantam, 2016), as well as The Yes Brain (Bantam, 2019). Dr. Bryson is also the co-author (with Dan Siegel, M.D.) of The Whole-Brain Child Workbook (PESI, 2015) and No-Drama Discipline Workbook (PESI, 2016). She is the executive director of the Center for Connection in Pasadena, CA, and a pediatric and adolescent psychotherapist. She keynotes conferences and conducts workshops for parents, educators, and clinicians all over the world. Dr. Bryson earned her Ph.D. from the University of Southern California, where her research explored attachment science, child-rearing theory, and the emerging field of interpersonal neurobiology.


Speaker Disclosures:
Financial: Tina Payne Bryson has employment relationships with The Center for Connection, The Play Strong Institute, and Saint Mark's Episcopal School. She receives royalties as a published author. Tina Payne Bryson receives a speaking honorarium, book and recording royalties from PESI, Inc. She has no relevant financial relationships with ineligible organizations.
Non-financial: Tina Payne Bryson serves on the advisory board for Austin Interpersonal Neurobiology and Fuel Ed. She is a member of the National Association of Social Workers, is a distinguished member of the San Gabriel Valley Psychology Association, and a member of Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute.

 


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